Wednesday, November 25, 2009:[/u]
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Unleashed
Live from Jacksonville, Florida
Segment #1
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After the normal entrance hullabaloo, the ring announcer is ready to kick off the Tag Wars edition – and possibly final edition – of Revolution with the first match. Only he never gets started, as Skid Row's “Mudkicker” hits. The crowd goes nuts for the arrival of Chris Hero. Dressed in street clothes and his hair pulled back, Hero saunters to the ring with a smile on his face. After taking a mic, he produces a slip of paper from his pocket.
Hero: This is a bill. Apparently, hotels don't take too kindly to doing an impression of the Attica prison riots in their rooms at one in the morning. [Hero looks at it for a moment.] Says here I'm due to the fine people at Drury Inn in Atlanta, Georgia a little over three thousand dollars in damages. Oh, and I'm banned from their hotels in the greater Atlanta area. For life. So, let's see … keeping score here … Eddie Kingston cost me [holds up one finger] the Ring Of Honor World Title, [holds up a second finger] three G's from my self-prescribed psychotherapy session in a hotel room, [holds up a third finger] the right to enjoy the finest continental breakfast one can find in a major hotel chain, for the rest of my life, whenever I'm in Hot-lanta … yeah, that covers the bases from Monday. But you know what I got out of it that's good? A moment of clarity. See, once the smoke cleared – somewhere between the time I was escorted off the premises by a guy whose ass has his own congressman, and the time I settled into my new bed on a sheet so scratchy, my back looks like Freddy Krueger's sharpening stone … once that smoke cleared, I saw things in a whole new light. Really, I saw something I'd forgotten. Mainly, that title … either title, really … they're mine for the taking. I'm a perennial contender. People forget I'm the third-longest reigning champion in ROH
history, and the longest since they got on TV. Might even say they got on TV on my back. That kinda counts for something on your ongoing resume. So, getting screwed may look bad, but overall, I'm not stressing. Right now, the championship isn't my goal. I can come back and hit that at will like Don Callis' sister. Right now, Trios Tournament is my prey, only I ain't no Ahab. I'm Quint, it's Jaws, and I've got a much bigger boat than anybody in this tournament. So come Sunday, I'm gonna truck whoever we end up facing. Then, I'm gonna truck the next team. Come Final Battle, I'll get that shine-stealing crotch-pheasant Claudio Castagnoli in the ring – whether I gotta cash in my wish, lure him in with it, or just annoy him to death – and I'm gonna finish the job I shoulda done almost three years ago: wiping that turd out this company's ass for good. And then?
Then … assuming Trish still isn't running her Gloria Allred-meets-Charles Manson support group,
then I'm zooming in on whatever championship is still around. But that's all future plans. Today I gotta deal with today's noise, and that's this tag match. I guess somebody thinks it's, I don't know … funny? Ironic? Controversial? You know, to have me partner with Kingston against C-Dan and Quack. See, everything Quack said about Kingston was right; he
is a selfish prick. He
is a lout and an idiotic toolbag. But the diff between me and the Quack Attack is that he takes it personally, like he's the planet Kingston orbits, and everything Kingston does rains down on the planet surface. Me? I know what Kingston is. And aside from Monday, it never affects me. Never bothers me. Never even crosses my mind.
I. Don't. Care. My day-to-day is jam-packed like ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag. I don't have the time to care about what Kingston does. If – what's the letters Mike's going by these days? QED? Lambda Lambda Lambda? Ampersand, pound sign, Batman symbol? Whatever they are, if Mike wants to worry himself into an ulcer over Kingston, more power to ya. I'm not wasting my life getting involved in that nightmare, I'm not wasting my time helping Kingston with the problem, and I'm not bothering facing C-Dan without the strap on the line. So, hate to disappoint, but I'm not participating tonight. Peace.
Hero literally drops the mic like at the end of a battle rap and leaves the ring. At the top of the ramp, Paul Heyman is waiting for him and starts yelling at him about how he can't do this, and he'll be fined if he walks out. Hero never breaks stride; he keeps on walking, smiling the whole way, even as Heyman is right behind him, continuing to hector him.
Jimmy Bauer: JBL, what does this mean for the main event? Is Kingston gonna have to go it alone?
JBL: If Paul can't make Hero come to his senses, he'll fine a replacement. Bet your life on it.
Bauer: But who? Chris Hero is not just a guy you replace. That's like replacing Tom Brady!
Quality:
Crowd:
Overall: 94
Notes: Chris Hero gained overness from this segment.
Segment #2
Tag match, one fall
Kory Chavis & David Hart Smith vs. Davey Richards (w/Fangirl Lizzy) and Brent Albright
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Not surprisingly, Tom Carter sits at ringside with the announce team to watch his COTC II opponent in tag action. The ad-hoc opponents for Chavis and Smith couldn't look more disparate and couldn't act more different; Richards comes down like Bret Hart in the 90's, only oblivious to the crowd not wanting his high-fives and handshakes. Albright is stone cold and looking to make someone hurt. And despite being two excellent ring technicians in their own right, what sounds good in theory doesn't translate so well in practice. Albright is easily annoyed by Richards' pointless playing to the audience and in-ring showboating, and more so with Fangirl Lizzy's excessive fawning over “The Digital Deity”, and that derails them from the opening bell. Smith and Chavis work nicely together, a pair of powerhouses that are able to overwhelm the dysfunctional duo, especially when Richards senses the match is lost; Richards decides at that point he'd rather bail than be associated with the loss. But Albright doesn't like being bailed on, so he chases after, clubbers Richards and tosses him back in to eat the pinfall from Smith's running power slam. ***1/4
Winners: Kory Chavis & David Hart Smith (pinfall, Smith on Richards, running power slam)
Quality: 86
Crowd: 74
Overall: 80
Segment #3
Tag match, one fall
Outcast Killahs vs. Sin City
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The obnoxious duo from Las Vegas come out first, and in TJ Wilson’s is a 40 of Olde English, while Chance Beckett has a flat, rectangular box under his arm. They stop at the top of the ramp, where Beckett places the box on the ground.
Bauer: John, what is that?
JBL: It … it looks like a puzzle, Jimmy. But –
Bauer: Oh, that is just
tacky. A puzzle … it’s a
jigsaw. Get it? How dare these two act like they’re paying tribute to a friend when they’re the ones who put Jigsaw on the shelf!
The crowd boos as Sin City take great delight in the mocking tribute to Jigsaw, as Wilson pours out the Olde English on the box while Beckett yells out “for our dead homie”! Once Wilson is done soaking it, he kicks the box into the audience and the two make their way to the ring, rubbing in their jerkish behavior with belly-laughs. The Outcast Killahs, on the other hand, don’t look to be amused in the slightest by Sin City’s antics; in fact, Diablo Santiago talks to the camera on the way down, telling Jigsaw “watch what we do; this one’s for you”.
Once the match starts, it’s clear both are tapping a mean streak and neither wants to relent. There’s no Ricky Morton-heat-getting section in this match; it’s just an all-out war of attrition, starting in third gear and going higher with every passing second as the City looks to avenge their (perceived) overlooked status, and the Killahs look to make a statement and get justice for Jigsaw. Every permutation of the four wrestlers squares off, throwing strikes that look to cause concussions and hitting moves intending to shorten careers.
But somewhere around the six-minute mark, with Beckett in control of Oman Tortuga, the lights start flickering, then finally go out. Thousands of cell phones illuminate the dark just as the Tron starts flickering. The shot on the Tron changes from the ring to a strobe-lit picture of Hallowicked … only, instead of the black mask with orange accents, it’s a blood red mask with black accents. Beckett looks like he’s seen a ghost, especially when Hallowicked starts speaking in a guttural, animalistic voice, uttering a string of demonic-sounding gibberish with only two distinct words: “sinners” and “dead”. No sooner has Bauer stated the obvious – that Hallowicked’s words are a warning to Sin City – than the lights come on.
And Tortuga is able to surprise Beckett with a Death Valley driver. Santiago makes the cut-off on Wilson and Tortuga makes the successful pin. While the win isn’t clean as a sheet, the Killahs make no apologies and take what they get. Wilson checks on Beckett, who holds the back of his head and looks furious; Wilson panics, but Beckett slaps him and demands a mic.
Beckett: You can play with the lights, Hallowicked, and speak in tongues and all that! You’re not the Undertaker and we’re not greenhorns shaking in our boots! You’re a schlub who hasn’t amounted to anything outside of Chikara and you don’t scare us with your new mask! And hey, last I checked, your buddy’s looking at retirement after we snapped his arm so bad, he’s gonna need a steel rod where his bone was! [Bauer: These two are despicable!] So, if you got something to say, we’re gonna be in the same place on Saturday … come say it to me and TJ face-to-face in the ring! Would love to talk to ya two-on-one! **3/4
Winners: Outcast Killahs (pinfall, Tortuga on Beckett, DVD)
Quality: 84
Crowd: 64
Overall: 74
Segment #4
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Despite being locked out of the tag title hunt, Matt Sydal and Jack Evans look no less cocky as they come down the ramp, moments away from facing a team they've had almost unparalleled success against. Sydal even tells the camera he's going to get the win using Jerry Lawler's finisher, just to show he's better than Lawler [Bauer: Kind of sad he's gotta prove his manhood over and over against a guy more than twice his age, isn't it?]. The crowd explodes for Danzig's “When Death Had No Name”, but after almost thirty seconds of it plays and nothing happens, even The Elite look a little itchy.
And then the Tron flips over to backstage in the arena hallways, where Jun Kasai and Deisuke Sekimoto are taking it to Justice Pain and Messiah. Kasai has Messiah pinned against a wall, working him over with body shots and punches to the face, while Pain gets thrown into a door by Sekimoto. Kasai stops the assault to look for a weapon and finds a stack of chairs, but when he swings to smash Messiah's head, Messiah ducks and drives Kasai into the opposite wall with a football-style tackle. Messiah grabs the chair, turns and blasts Sekimoto in the head as he's coming up.
But Kasai grabs Messiah from behind and drops him to the concrete with an inverted DDT, putting an end to Messiah's blitz. He then quickly runs over and punts Pain in the gut, then slams the door on Pain's head. Kasai helps Sekimoto up, and though shaken, they still walk away laughing, while trainers attend to MDK's wounds, putting an abrupt end to the match before it could start.
Quality:
Crowd:
Overall: 51
Segment #5
Triple threat match, one fall to a finish
Scott Lost vs. Chris Bosh vs. Monty Brown
Monty Brown is the first man to head to the ring, but he barely gets down to the end of the rampway when his music cuts off and Chris Bosh’s theme cuts in. Bosh makes a point of grabbing a camera and making it zoom in on him as he walks down the ramp, telling all the ‘underachievers and never-will-bes’ watching at home to pay attention, as they’re about to see ‘pure, uncut brilliance blow out their retinas’. Bosh’s boasting is cut off when Brown grabs him and spins him around, his eyes wide and his nostrils flared, clearly upset at Bosh cutting off his entrance. Bosh manages to get out a few words when Jay-Z begins to play, and both men turn to stare at the entranceway.
Thus, neither see Lost jump the railing, slide into the ring, climb a turnbuckle and then fly, slamming into both Bosh and Brown with an uncharacteristic dive. The crowd pops as Lost begins to kick at both men, until Brown makes his feet. Lost grabs him and tosses him at the post, Brown’s head smacking the ringpost with a dull thud. Lost then grabs Bosh and tosses him into the ring, quickly following. The ref calls for the bell to start the match, despite Brown sprawled out on the floor and Bosh crawling away from Lost.
Lost takes it to his former partner, punishing the arrogant Bosh with kicks and suplexes, Bosh only managing to get in a few desperation moves that Lost quickly shakes off. But after a couple minutes, Lost whips Bosh into the corner and then goes for the Superman Spear, only for Brown to return with a Pounce on Lost that sends him out of the ring. Bosh smirks and goes for a high five from Brown, only to get grabbed and nailed with an Alpha Bomb from the former Football Star. Brown covers but Bosh kicks out at a long 2. Brown doesn’t look put out however, as he glares between Bosh (who is rolling to the outside) and Lost, who is trying to climb back in. Brown turns to Lost and brings him in with a long delayed veritcle suplex, holding him up for nearly 30 seconds before brining him down. Like Lost did Bosh, Brown works over his opponent and shakes off the few weak counters that Lost manages, Brown showing his newfound fluidity and skill as he punishes Lost. But he gets a little greedy when he goes for a top rope Alpha Bomb, Lost managing to convert it into an ugly, but effective superplex. Both men are out, and Bosh tries to capitalise, covering Lost and when that only gets 2, covering Brown. That also gets 2.
Bosh pulls Lost up and after a few paintbrush slaps to Lost’s face he goes for the Extreme Bosh side slam, but Lost slides out, grabs Bosh and nails the Breaking Point! He goes for the cover, but on 2 Brown pulls him up and directly into an Alpha Bomb, which gets Brown the hard fought win. Afterwards, Brown heads to the back, ignoring Bosh calling out to him about ‘talking this over’. ***1/4
Winner: Monty Brown (pinfall, on Lost, Alpha Bomb)
Quality: 84
Crowd: 83
Overall: 83
Segment #6
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Revolution comes back on Taz, standing backstage.
Taz: Okay, right now, welcome three of the most dangerous wrestlers on the planet, man or woman. Sara Del Ray, MsChif and Amazing Kong, The Heath—
Kong puts a hand on the mic and drills a hole in Taz’s skull with her eyes. Taz doesn’t back down … at first. But when Kong is joined by MsChif and Sara in staring down Taz, he chooses life over taking a pounding, and forfeits the stick. Only he doesn’t get more than turned around before Kong grabs his collar and slaps on a rear naked choke just tight enough to keep him in place.
MsChif: [glaring at Taz] We came to E-Pro to make a statement about women in wrestling. We don’t need some fat, cliché-spewing, broken-down old
man [“man” is spat out more than said, as if the syllable is poison in MsChif’s mouth] to hold a mic for us and ask us stupid questions. [She gets up close to Taz’s face.] Besides … we make our statements in the ring, not on a soundstage. And our blank page will be this Saturday, and we’ll use the blood of those three pin-up models to write a
novel.
Sara: But we
do have something to say tonight, to the old men who run this place. You want to put us at each other’s throat by putting a title shot between us when we win. What you don’t understand is we are
not friends. We’re on the same side because you force us to, by promoting Barbie dolls like Shantelle Taylor and her friends, just like every other man who’s ever held the power of the book. We all happen to have the same ideals – to prove that we are wrestlers first, and sexy shouldn’t matter. When Final Battle rolls around, there won’t be love lost between us. We will tear and claw each other to shreds to be the first to hold that belt and make you regret ever having a woman’s division. And as for the two bimbos who could be our opponents … the centerfold is disgusting enough. She may think she’s some kind of extreme diva, but she’s going to find the world has changed quite a lot since she beat up on a 98-pound manager in a bingo hall. As for Trish Stratus? You don’t scare us, you don’t impress us, you can’t beat any one of us … and you sure as hell don’t stand for making the business better for women.
Sara throws down the mic, and Kong throws down Taz violently. Despite their claims of not liking each other, they leave together, slapping shoulders and not sparing a look back at Taz.
Quality:
Crowd:
Overall: 60
Segment #7
Tag match, one fall
True Believers vs. Joey Ryan & Shawn Michaels
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The True Believers come to the ramp, their manager Truth Martini gesturing and yelling at the fans, even as the Believers solemnly do the Honor Guard pose in the ring. JBL and Bauer begin to talk about what an opportunity this is for the Believers before this Sunday when Ryan and Michaels come out and cut them off. Although Ryan begins to play to the crowd, Michaels walks right to the ring, pausing only for a brief sign of the cross at the foot of the walkway. He then slides into the ring and charges, catching Jay Lethal off guard as he nails a running forearm, starting the match off with strikes and kicks, driving Lethal into a corner. He lays in shot after shot until the ref pulls him away.
Michaels gets a laugh when he tells the ref that ‘He has till 5’, but given that he says it with genuine anger and frustration, it’s a small laugh. Lethal uses the distraction to scramble to Morgan and get the tag. Morgan however fails to fare any better, as Michaels continues to attack somewhat recklessly, but almost every shot landing. After a few moments it takes Ryan calling his name several times before Michaels tags Ryan in, the two busting out a Rockers style double Russian leg sweep before HBK heads to the apron. Ryan looks to keep the pressure on, but Truth Martini grabs his leg as he sets up for the Superkick, the distraction just long enough for Lethal to springboard dropkick Ryan in the face.
Although it’s the classic start of a heel beatdown, the following several minutes is a departure, as although the Believers do stay in control it’s only just, as Ryan gets in a lot more offence than one would expect. But every time he goes for a tag, either the Believers just cut him off, or Michaels is distracted, yelling at Martini or a couple fans in the front row wearing Honor Guard t-shirts.
But eventually Morgan gets cocky and goes for a split legged moonsault and eats knees. Ryan gets up, superkicks Lethal as he springboards in, and then makes a diving tag to Michaels. HBK comes in, but the last few minutes seem to have only made him angrier, as he goes after both Morgan and Lethal with the same fire, fists and stomps replacing his usual flashy offence. After a vicious DDT (the first wrestling move since he got tagged) on Lethal, the ref goes to not count the fall (since Morgan is legal), but the glare HBK gives the ref is enough to make him count the fall, but it only gets 2 as Morgan breaks it up. The ref begins to try and get Lethal out of the ring as Michaels goes after Morgan, laying in shot after shot. He then goes to the corner and tunes up the band, albeit with more incoherent yelling than usual. As he does so, Martini gets up on the apron and attempts to enter, causing Ryan to enter the ring and move to block him. Unfortunately Shawn had the same idea, and his Sweet Chin Music nails Ryan in the back of the head rather than on Martini’s jaw. Shawn freezes as Ryan slumps down, and doesn’t see Morgan grab him and toss him from the ring. Morgan grabs Ryan and nails a Fallaway into a Lethal elbow drop. The ref doesn’t want to count but a second of Martini yelling about fairness forces him down and he counts to three.
Martini leads his boys to the back, yelling like he just won Powerball and the Superbowl, while Ryan slowly begins to sit up and Michaels just leans against the barricade on the outside, staring at nothing. **3/4
Winners: True Believers (pinfall, Lethal pins Ryan, top rope elbow drop)
Quality: 82
Crowd: 74
Overall: 78
Notes: Jay Lethal gained overness from this match. Donovan Morgan gained overness from this match.
Segment #8
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The Offspring begins to play, and as the crowd cheers Raven and Beulah emerge from the entranceway. ‘A bit of old school’ exclaims JBL, as Raven is pushing a shopping cart loaded with a couple wrestling weapons and a few bags and Beulah is wearing a Raven style sleeveless t-shirt and skinny jeans. Neither plays to the fans, as they head down to the ring with a purpose. Raven empties the trolley into the ring as Beulah politely gets a microphone from the ring announcer and enters the ring. She hands the mic to Raven as she gets to work, standing a trash can in the middle of the ring and then beginning to empty the bags into it.
“For anyone who has followed my career, you might be expecting me to talk for a few minutes about Kevin Steen now. This is the go home show, the final chance for me to cut a promo! Surely I’ll be speaking one of my usual soliloquies, right?”
Raven shakes his head.
“Not this time. Because I don’t need to try and intimidate Steen. I don’t need to make him fear me, I don’t need that edge. Because for the first time…”
He glances at Beulah, who glances up at him and briefly smiles.
“I’m fighting on the right side. I’m not going to beat Steen because it will get me a title, or because it will make me a bigger star. I’m going to destroy Steen because it’s the right thing to do.
And Homicide? I don’t want to fight you. But if you get in my way, if you try and stop me from taking out Steen… Then I’ll take you out as well. Your choice.”
The fans aren’t exactly thrilled at Raven’s chilling statement, but Beulah takes the mic and then pulls a small book out from her pocket.
“This is the ROH Rule Book. This lays out the rules and regulations for all ROH matches, singles and tags, the rules for how titles are defended and retained, and a few other things. I know ROH’s current leadership views this as nothing more than a nuisance, but it’s still official, still applicable. And E-Pro basically lifted this whole for its own. So my match with the Family’s Lunatic Leader Trish Stratus is covered by this set of rules. Well, Trish, I have a teeny tiny suggestion.”
She nods at Raven, who pulls out a zippo and lights it, tossing it into the trash can, flames quickly shooting up as the wood and paper tossed in earlier catches alight. As Raven prods it with a long metal stick, Beulah holds the book out and then after a moment drops the rule book into the can.
“I don’t care what you want to call it. No DQ, No Holds Barred, Street Fight, Hardcore, Deathmatch, Extreme, Family Funtime, I could not care less, all I want is to get my hands around your neck, Trish, and for there to be nothing the ref can do to stop me choking you to within an inch of your life.
And then beating that extra inch out of you afterwards!”
Beulah and Raven go to pose when a commotion draws their attention. Coming in from the crowd is the Family’s Leader and their sole title holder, Trish Stratus and Kevin Steen. Steen vaults the barricade like a hurdler, then turns and gently lifts Trish up and over, Trish clutching the Family’s title shot briefcase to her chest the entire time. The Bold Future Champion drops the belt at Trish’s feet and then stalks over to the ring announcer and gets the second house mic, much more rudely than Beulah did. He heads back to Trish, Steen’s eyes not leaving Raven’s as he walks back and then holds the mic out for Trish to speak into, still clutching the briefcase. Her tone is playful and almost coy.
“Beulah, Beulah, Beulah… Such confidence! Such a strong statement, burning some paper to challenge me to agree to making your despair and torment that much quicker. I’m truly shaking in my boots!”
The playful tone vanishes suddenly.
“I accept, not out of fear, but in order to prove to these mewling simpletons that making a ref bleed out and having your neck broken does not make you a warrior. I have wrestled for far longer, against opponents far tougher, and while I might have gritted my teeth and stooped to the gutter once or twice, you my dear slut, have to work all week just to rise to looking up at it!”
Trish pauses, but Beulah remains calm and in fact chuckles slightly, gesturing to Trish to hurry up. Trish’s eyes narrow slightly, but she turns to glare at Raven.
“As for you, Raven… I have guided Kevin for such a short time, but him and I, we speak the same language, the language of pain and of anguish, and on this occasion, as every other, we are of one mind. Your presence here is not required, it is not desired, and Kevin will be sending you back to obscurity in a casket! Kevin is stronger, young, faster, superior in every way.
But more than that, while the superfluous chattering monkeys might claim this is experience versus youth, that this is somehow a veteran versus a young upstart, it’s nothing of the sort. For every trick you have, Kevin knows a more vicious one. For every level you can dig to, Kevin is already past that. For every drop of blood, every bolt of pain, every second of delicious agony you are willing to go through, Kevin will give more, bear more, endure more!
You once said you’d take two to give one? My Kevin will take as many as you can give, and he will remain standing, and then he will give you more than you could ever imagine. You claim you are on the righteous path? My Kevin has the Family, and we are beyond outdated concepts like morality, we see the world for what it truly is, and we will show you, Raven, we will show you the reality of existence in all its bloody, beautiful glory.
Oh, and Homicide as well, I suppose.”
She laughs in a deranged fashion, as if the former ROH World Champion is funny in some way. But the moment is enough for Raven to cut in.
“So ‘Your Kevin’ can withstand everything I can give? He’s going to stand up to me and be the first man to make me cry off? I don’t think so, Trish. See, this here-“ he indicates the trash can. “Wasn’t just for the challenge.”
Raven reaches in and pulls out the metal stick, revealing it to be a branding iron in the shape of a cross, flames dripping from it. Raven twirls it around and then hands it to Beulah.
“It was also for a, well, mission statement. As proof of just how far we’re willing to go to destroy your precious little Family.”
Raven stares at Kevin, even as Beulah drives the iron into Raven’s upper shoulder, the crowd going quiet as Raven’s flesh is branded. After several long seconds Beulah pulls back, the cross mark clearly outlines on Raven’s skin. Trish shakes her head, and is about to speak again when Beulah hands the iron back to Raven… And then pulls her t-shirt sleeve up a bit. And to the gasps of the announce team, Raven brands Beulah in the same location. Although her face does show a hint of discomfort, Beulah’s eyes are locked on Trish’s, until the iron is pulled back. Raven puts it back in the fire, shifting it around a little and then pulling it back out, offering it to the Family.
Kevin’s stance is one of readiness, he looks ready to slide into the ring, but he remains where he is, holding the microphone for Trish. As for Trish, she slowly licks her lips, her face stoic, expressionless, until after several more seconds she huffs and turns on her heel and heads back to the barricade, Kevin following after a few seconds, but not before yelling “[bleep] you all!” at the world in general. The show goes to commercial with Raven and Beulah watching them leave, and then zooming in on the red and blistering flesh of Beulah’s branding.
Quality:
Crowd:
Overall: 83
Segment #9
Trios Tournament, quarter-final match
The Rogue Elements (Max Boyer, Matt Hardy, Homicide) vs. The Honor Guard (Scott Colton, Claudio Castagnoli, Nigel McGuinness)
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The entrances tell the story of the match, as Boyer, Homicide and Hardy all get their own theme music but they hang at the head of the ramp until all three are out and then head to the ring, their team three individuals but with solid teamwork (although Homicide is a little distracted, the announcers speculating as to what he thought of the confrontation that just occurred with his two opponents at the Clash).
Compare that with Colton’s team, who all come out to Prong but could not be less of a team. Claudio strides to the ring with his usual arrogance, but Colton and McGuinness are both slow to the ring, McGuinness because he looks somewhat conflicted about being there, and Colton because he is just staring at McGuinness with a mixture of disgust and anger.
When both teams are in the ring, the ref calls for the lead offs. On one side there is a brief discussion and Homicide begins, while on the other side, Colton orders Claudio out and then steps out himself, forcing Nigel to start. Nigel and Homicide have a short sequence that leads to a stalemate. But while Homicide tags out to Hardy, Nigel gets nothing, Colton ordering him back in. After another series of reversals and counters, Hardy tags in Boyer and again Nigel is sent back into battle. Nigel is clearly frustrated but goes to work, and holds his own against Boyer, but gets stuck in the wrong corner, leading to some double and triple teaming as the Rogue Elements take control. But Homicide makes a mistake in going for the Cop Killa too early, Nigel sliding out of it and nailing a short lariat, scrambling for the tag. Although Colton stares daggers at him, Claudio takes the tag and goes to work, pulling Homicide into the Honor Guard corner.
Homicide gets beat on for several long minutes, but the Guard are unable to put him away, thanks to Colton’s ‘leadership’ getting in the way. Colton only tags in when Claudio is in the ring, and then only does one or two moves before tagging out, and always back to Claudio. When Claudio tags in Nigel however, Colton almost drags Claudio to the floor and talks strategy, forcing McGuinness to remain in the ring for the majority of the match. And although Nigel does remain in control, he eventually tires out, Homicide elbowing out of a Tower of London and then nailing a Diamond Dust. The ref counts both men down, and on 7 Nigel is ready to tag… But Colton makes no move, forcing Nigel to crawl the extra foot to Claudio. This gives Homicide enough time to tag in Hardy, and the match breaks down as Hardy is a house of fire, taking on all three HG members before Boyer and Homicide rejoin the fight.
After a few minutes of all out war, Claudio and Boyer, long time rivals, spill to the outside, where Claudio manages to take control with a missed by the ref low blow and then a Roaring Uppercut which spins Boyer around but doesn’t drop him. Thus, both he and Claudio end up taken out when Homicide nails a Topé con Hilo onto them from the ring, all three men laid out.
Inside the ring, Hardy is preparing to finish off Colton, having nailed the Side Effect and then setting him up for the Twist of Fate. But as he spins, Nigel comes charging and nails the Jawbreaker Lariat, Hardy flipping over and sending Colton tumbling as well. Nigel covers Hardy and the ref gets to three before anyone else can interact, Nigel scoring the win and putting the Honor Guard into the Semis.
The crowd deflates at this, but as Nigel gets his hand raised Colton is there, spinning him around and getting in his face about almost taking him out, and chewing Nigel out for ‘showboating’. Nigel fumes for several seconds, even as the crowd is chanting ‘Lariat’ at him, until he eventually slumps and walks off, Colton seeming to accept this as an apology, taunting at the crowd as he and Claudio head to the back. **3/4
Winners: The Honor Guard (pinfall, McGuinness pins Hardy, Jawbreaker Lariat)
Quality: 78
Crowd: 81
Overall: 80
Segment #10
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When Revolution returns, JBL is in the ring instead of at the desk, microphone in hand.
JBL: Folks, right now, I'd like to introduce to you the Chairman of Evolution Pro Wrestling. [The crowd pops as JBL continues his intro.] He's called the Mad Scientist Of Professional Wrestling and the Jim Jones Of Philadelphia, but despite our differences, I consider him a friend … please welcome, Paul Heyman!
Heyman comes out and shakes hands with JBL, which turns into a manly one-armed hug before JBL steps out and leaves Heyman in the ring alone.
Heyman: Ladies and gentlemen, I … I cannot be more humble after that impassioned introduction, and I cannot be more thankful for each and every one of you who spent your hard-earned money to come make this show – nay, this promotion – the living, breathing success that it is! [The crowd roars and an E-Pro chant breaks out, before morphing into a Heyman chant. When it dies down, Heyman continues.] Folks, that kind of love is precisely why I chose to come out here, in this ring, and give my address to you in person, rather than hide behind a desk and a video camera. [Booing and a “Callis sucks” chant.] The fact of the matter is, folks, tonight is a watershed moment. E-Pro will never be the same after tonight. You hear that kind of talk a lot in wrestling promotions, but this time, ladies and gentlemen, the statement has never been truer. It's not hyperbole; it's stone cold fact. Now, whether it be because we integrate the rich history of Ring Of Honor into E-Pro's world, or because we close up shop come Monday morning, remains to be seen. But the fact is, I wanted to come out and give respect, and give thanks … to you, the fans, for supporting the cause that started with The Line In The Sand, to our walk-out from ROH, where we made a true line in the sand, to this point. I also wanna give thanks to the men –
and women – in the back. When I started the Line and E-Pro, I wanted to bring to fruition the vision I had with ECW, the vision that never came to full bloom: a promotion where nobody told you [attempts a Dusty Rhodes impression] “that'th not fah you, baybeh”. A promotion where opportunities were available to
anybody who was willing to work for it, and if the people saw something we didn't, we'd give them what they wanted! A promotion where everything started and ended in the ring, with
wrestlers, not commissioners and directors of operation and general managers, and certainly not [says mockingly] “sports entertainers”! I have done my absolute
best to bring you quality matches, with winners and losers, every single week since Jim Cornette gave us this time slot, and as God as my witness, it's my every intention that after Sunday, we'll do it on Monday nights too! [Huge pop for that.] What I will not do, though, is stand out here and fear-monger you people. I know the specter of The Family is on the minds of you, and it's on the minds of every wrestler in the back, and believe me, it's on my mind, too. But where Don Callis and I differ is that I've seen what happens with these groups first hand … because I've been the manager of these groups. Whether they go by the Four Horsemen, or Evolution, or The Network, or The Dangerous Alliance, they all collapse in on themselves like a black hole. And it's always about
ego; somebody dropped the ball, somebody went off the page, somebody got too big for his britches, whatever. Don Callis is only scared of The Family because they stand in the way of
his goals. And as talented as they are, The Family are not good enough to stand against
sixty men. Math is on my side.
History is on my side. I have been in this business for a long time, and I've seen everything under the sun. And when I look in that locker room, I don't need to be scared, not of The Family, and not of The Honor Guard. This Sunday, Evolution Pro evolves once more, to become the greatest wrestling promotion this country – maybe the world – has ever seen. And I look forward to standing here on Monday, presenting a new, undisputed championship belt to Eddie Kingston, as he leads Evolution Pro to a new golden age of professional wrestling!
Quality:
Crowd:
Overall: 96
Segment #11
Tag match, one fall
Eddie Kingston & ? vs. Christopher Daniels & Michael Quackenbush Spillane
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To no one's surprise, the heel team comes out separately, and they have all the camaraderie of men in a police line-up. Daniels can barely look at MQS without disgust carved into every inch of his face, which is more than MQS can do for Daniels; he won't even look at the ROH World Champion. Eddie Kingston is introduced, and he stops at the top of the ramp, mic in hand.
Kingston: In case you two thought you was gonna have a smooth ride in a handicap match tonight, I got some bad news for you boys. I got me someone to take that bitch Chris Hero's spot. Somebody you know pretty good, Daniels … and somebody who wants to get to you know a little better, Mike.
Kingston turns to look at the curtain., but it's the music – a very familiar synth riff - that tells the audience all they need to know about Kingston's partner. Sure enough, the first-ever two-time ROH World Champion Bryan Danielson steps out, smiling and a mic in hand.
Danielson: Before we do this, I just wanted to put this out there, Quack; whatever happens tonight, when it comes to this weekend … well, I noticed you got a hole in your schedule. So do I. And after having to hear your crap this month, and taking a beating or two, I'm feeling like the stars have aligned for us to settle our hash. That's if I leave anything left of you to make it to Saturday.
MQS doesn't look bothered by Danielson's words; if anything, he looks amused, and a bit pleased. Daniels, meanwhile, looks angry at having his chance for revenge on Chris Hero taken away. But there's nothing he can do to change it, and reluctantly starts the match (since MQS refuses to) against the man who beat him for the belt back in July. If Daniels is nervous about facing Danielson, he doesn't show it; they pick up where they left off, working each other's signature moves, countering counters, and putting on a clinic worthy of champions.
When Danielson tags out to Kingston, Daniels doesn't shrink away, wanting the chance to soften up his opponent four days ahead of time. While not the prettiest match-up of styles by far, there's no shortage of intensity, even as they use their respective styles to win out the day. But with Kingston fresher, Daniels is at a disadvantage, and in short order, he is looking for a tag out to MQS.
Only MQS puts his hands up, not wanting any part of it. He tells Daniels he's on his own and drops from the apron.
And that's when the crowd starts to ripple with noise, as the demonic quartet of The Family make their way to the ring from all four sides, and not the laconic, stalking stroll like normal, but with purpose. By the time anybody in the ring realizes it, it's too late; The Family come over the guard rails like Mongol marauders, all of them holding some kind of weapon, and every one of them swings like they're going for the kill-shot. Heyman comes out on stage, screaming about the show being ruined and cursing Trish Stratus for dead. Stratus takes a mic and stands at the base of the ramp, her back to the carnage her Family continues to inflict, as they use chairs, ball bats, lead pipes, tables, stairs and anything else they can grab to punish Kingston, Danielson, Daniels and MQS.
Trish: Oh, poor dear! Rome is burning, and you can't muster up the strength to play the fiddle? Time and again, we've shown our power to you. We are unified, in body, mind and spirit. Your roster, Don Callis' roster, you are disparate individuals in every conceivable way.
Nothing you can do can counter that. But in case the lesson just hasn't sunk in yet … [Trish starts to walk up the ramp.] Allow me to have
my chance to give an address. You see, your petty man-wars are nothing but the spinning of wheels. [Trish caresses Heyman's face.] Win … lose … it doesn't matter what happens this Sunday. The Trios Tournament awaits, and no team has a greater unity than that of my Family. We are unstoppable. We are legion. And when we win … [Trish does the head tilt gesture.] Oh, when we win, Paul … oh, the paradise that awaits you all! A blood-soaked, corpse-filled marvel of a world, you will see! I can't wait to share my vision with you and Don Callis and the world! When we win, we will hold so many trump cards, whoever comes out the winner in your quaint little main event will be a dead man walking, and the promotion will be dead right behind it. And we'll start next Monday, when we start executing your heroes, Paul. One by one, we will begin cutting through the soldiers of the winner, and what we've done so far will look like a child's storybook in comparison. [Her head snaps up, and the serene psychopathy vanishes from her eyes, replaced by a coldness that would make a grave feel like a fireplace.] You better hope Eddie Kingston loses on Sunday, so you can hold tonight in your heart and cherish this memory forever. You want to remember this, as it was not five minutes ago, as the echo of E-Pro in your heart. You don't want to win and face what we have in store. What we do to your precious little empire will put fear in the hearts of the fearless. The bodies we leave will black out the sun.
Trish drops the mic and walks down the ramp; with a call to her “gentlemen”, The Family abandon their wanton violence in unison and gladly fall behind their matriarch, leaving ringside the same way they came in, and leaving the go-home Revolution – possibly the last ever – a killing field. The last few moments are of medics attending to the fallen and Heyman watching in horror. ***3/4
Winners: no contest (interference)
Quality: 88
Crowd: 82
Overall: 85
Overall show rating: 79
Thursday, November 26, 2009:[/u]
Email:1) TJ Wilson - I think i should be higher up the card.
2) Road agents - Shawn Michaels and Joey Ryan blend as a team really well, probably due to their similar styles.
3) Nigel McGuinness - I think you might be pushing me too high up the card, the fans seem to be resenting me.
4) WWE Wednesday are trying to compete with us, but are being destroyed in the ratings.
5) We got a 6.21 rating for 'Revolution'! The attendance level was 8025 people. We made $321000 from ticket sales.
6) WWE got a 2.79 television rating for 'WWE Wednesday'! The event was attended by 801 people. They made $24030 from ticket sales.
Friday, November 27, 2009:[/u]
Email:1) TNA got a 6.09 television rating for 'TNA iMPACT!'! The event was attended by 7005 people. They made $280200 from ticket sales.
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Didn't get out as fast as I thought. Several reasons ... work, and a new writing project taking up my attention that I want to get off my plate. Sorry.
So, you may have noticed a few segments were in a different format, had a different feel, etc. I enlisted some writing help for them. Four segments were written by mlsq42, the guy who does the predictions in various characters. I've known him quite a while, did a podcast with him ... good guy, good friend, and I knew that if I just gave him the direction and the result, he'd be able to finish off what I couldn't. So, I owe him a big debt of gratitude. He may help out again, possibly with COTC II, since the size and scope of my other project keeps growing ... don't worry, though. He's not deviating from my plot path. It's still going where I have planned ... he just may fill in some details of the trip there is all. Hope you like it. I do.
Jed Shaffer
~Preview up by this weekend. Although, since I'm posting this on Xmas night, fat chance any of you will read it before then.