EPW Adrenaline
Thursday, January 3, 2013 on Spike TV
"Welcome, everyone, to EPW Adrenaline! Ladies and gentlemen, do NOT adjust your television sets, you are hearing correctly, this IS Jesse "The Body" Ventura on your airwaves once again! And let me just say, Tazz, that it is an honor to be part of a true wrestling company again."
"And it's great to have ya here, Jess. We have an absolutely packed show tonight, man. A Four-Way dance to crown the first Light Heavyweight Champion, with Zema Ion, Adam Cole, Sonjay Dutt, and Robbie E! On top of that, Ayako Hamada making her homecoming in the EPW Women's title match against Tara and ODB. We've got tag matches, and another four-way for the TV Title, with Samoa Joe, Joey Ryan, Mr. Anderson, and Douglas Williams!"
"And on top of that, Tazz, three qualifying matches for tonight's World Heavyweight Championship Match, which will ALSO be a four-way dance, and the fourth participant is EPW's biggest signings!"
"Absolutely, brother. We don't know who he is, but we know it's BIG. But hey, enough yammering, we got a show to do!"
Segment #1
A familiar theme plays, which sounds not unlike "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Suddenly, strutting out of the entrance tunnel comes the one and only DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE! The crowd goes wild as Page walks down the aisle, mic in hand. DDP stands proudly in the ring as "DDP!" chants ring through the arena.
"It's Me, it's me, it's DDP!" Page says with a wide grin, which gets a cheap pop. "That's right, that's right. Ol' D-D-P is the G-M of E-P-W." This gets another cheer from the audience. "Tonight is gonna be a big night in pro wrestling! We're gonna make history tonight! THIS is the pro wrestling company of the future, folks. We don't focus on the past, we don't push the young guns out of the way to make room for the legends of yesteryear, EPW is all about creating a new generation of legends and superstars for a new generation of fans!" The crowd pops, but Page wags his finger, chiding himself. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I take that back. We're not creating a new generation of [glow=red,2,300]superstars,[/glow] we're creating a new generation of PRO. WRESTLERS. This sport that entertains you is called pro wrestling, by God, and that's what we're gonna call it!" The crowd goes wild for this, and Page nods, satisfied. "Now, I've run my mouth long enough, we got a show to do!" Page walks to the back as the crowd cheers again. (90%, DDP gained overness)
Segment#2- Tag Team Match: Devon and Keith Hanson vs.
- World Tag Team Championship Qualifying Match
Devon and Keith Hanson come out first to the Aces and Eights theme, but they are not announced as Aces and Eights. They jaw-jack with the crowd as they wait for their opponents....
AND THE THEME OF THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS PLAYS. Out come Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley to a loud reception, sprinting down the aisle and rush attacking Devon and Hanson all over the ring. The Guns maintain the momentum for most of the match, with Devon and Hanson getting in bits of offence using their size advantage. It goes back and forth for a while, with Shelley getting in his spots to get the big return pops. The finish comes when Hanson starts yelling at the referee as Devon gets a chair and tries to clock Shelley with the chair, but Shelley ducks and the chair rebounds off the rope, smacking Devon in the face! Hanson turns around into a superkick from Shelley, followed up by Sliced Bread #2! With no partner to break up the pin, Shelley and Sabin advance to the tag title match later in the night. (77/74/80)
Winners: The Motor City Machine GunSegment #3- Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle- World Heavyweight Championship Qualifying Match
Bobby Roode is very aggressive against Angle, still remembering his embarrassment at Bound for Glory 2011 when he failed to win the TNA World Title. Every strike has intent and every slam has extra snap, but Kurt Angle is no slouch himself, firing back with striking of his own and controlling the mat game in the match. The match goes back and forth, with plenty of near-falls and lots of work on the arm from Roode and the leg for Angle as the match goes on for quite a bit. Eventually, Angle takes control and hits his three German Suplexes, yanking down the straps and bellowing with intensity. But, just when it looks like Angle is going to pick up the victory, hoisting Roode up for the Angle Slam...but he suddenly falls forward! Someone in a red hoody and blue jeans tripped him up as Roode falls onto his feet. Angle staggers to his feet, but Roode wraps him up in the Crossface! Roode torques back and back on Angle's arm, until he has no choice but to tap! Kurt Angle taps out! Roode raises his arms in victory, and the man in the red hood comes into the ring, taking off his hood to reveal....PETEY WILLIAMS! Roode laughs loudly and shakes Williams' hand, pulling him in for a hug. The two men go to the back as a unit, clearly this was some sort of plan all along. (84/88/78, Bobby Roode gained overness)
Winner: Bobby Roode"I don't believe it, Jesse! Petey Williams has come back, and helped his old Team Canada Buddy screw over Kurt Angle!"
"What are you talking about, screwed over? Bobby Roode is the greatest submission wrestler in EPW! He made KURT ANGLE tap out! And you wanna run him in the mud for his good friend coming out for moral support!"
"You gotta be kiddin' me."
Segment #4- All-Night Express vs. Young Bucks- World Tag Team Championship Tournament Qualifying Match
The crowd starts off quiet for this match, but the athleticism and technique of all four young men on display brings them to attention. The Bucks have fantastic speed, and Titus and King get to show off their technical skills, with King playing the face-in-peril to allow Titus to get in his big debut shine. With both teams made of athletic young men, it becomes a battle of cockyness and bravado, with constant attempts to top one another. As they are unable to gain a clear advantage, the bucks start bending the rules to their advantage, with eye-rakes and sneaky double-team tactics. The finish to the match comes when Rhett goes for the Muff Buster Crucifix Powerbomb on Nick Jackson, but Jackson catches him with a heel to the groin, forcing Rhett to drop him. Nick spins Rhett around and drops him with a superkick before tagging in his brother Matt to hit the 450 splash to pick up the win. (73/53/93)
Winners: Young BucksSegment #5- AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett- World Heavyweight Championship Tournament Qualifying Match
AJ Styles comes into this match with a lot of fire, wanting to turn his terrible 2012 into an better 2013, taking out his aggression on his old nemesis, Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett came into this match cockily, jawing to the fans and showboating, but he completely underestimates Styles in this match, who is all over him throughout the match. There's not a lot of the typical high-flying spots from Styles, but it's a lot of brawling and aggression, and hard slams on Jarrett. Jarrett tries to put up a fight, but Styles is just too on fire in this match, and he drops Jarrett with a Styles Clash after a dominant performance. (83/84/83, Jeff Jarrett lost overness)
Winner: AJ StylesStyles walks to the back, motioning around his waist and shouting out "That title's MINE! It belongs to me!"
"What a dominant performance by AJ here tonight! He's on fire, I dunno if anyone can stop him!"
"I hope someone can beat him. Do you really want an adulterer as champion? Who slept with the old owner, knocked up a crack addict, and turned his back on his two best friends?"
"That was all a lie! There was no baby! THEY turned on him!"
"Semantics."
"WHAT?!?"
Segment #6- Ayako Hamada vs. Tara vs. ODB- EPW Women's Championship Match
Hamada gets a good reaction, and even a few "welcome back" chants. ODB brings the brawling, Tara brings the power, but Hamada brings the technique and speed. Despite their dislike for one another, Tara and ODB are forced to work together to take Hamada out of the match. But no sooner is Hamada out on the floor than Tara rakes ODB's eyes and drops her with a nasty Backdrop Driver to eliminate her.
Tara tries putting down Hamada in equally quick fashion, but Hamada fights back and uses her quickness and striking to throw Tara off her game. Tara is able to hit a cheap shot on Hamada to bring her to a screeching halt and goes for the Widow's Peak, but Hamada slips out of it and nails Tara with the Hamada Driver for the victory! (69/69/70, the EPW Women's Championship has gained image)
Winner: HamadaSegment #7- Adam Cole vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Robbie E vs. Zema Ion- EPW Light Heavyweight Championship Match
The crowd is excited for the home boy, Adam Cole, who gets to show off his speed and technical ability against three well-known TNA stars. The match goes back and forth for a little while, with Cole and Dutt in for most of the opening minutes as Ion and Robbie E wait on the outside. When it looks like Cole is taking the advantage after a beautiful diving Crossbody, Zema Ion tags himself in! Ion tries to take advantage of Dutt, but Dutt fights back and eliminates Ion quickly with a diving spin kick off the top rope.
Cole tries to step in the ring, but Robbie E sprints into the ring and peppers Dutt with fists and kicks, trying to wear Dutt down. But Dutt continues to fight, absolutely on fire...until Robbie kicks him low and nails him with a vicious DDT. Robbie works over the shoulder that bothered Dutt since Destination X, but Dutt is able to fight Robbie off and tags out to Cole, nursing his injured arm. Robbie tries to get the "Panama City Playboy" to fist pump along with him, but Cole just kicks him in the gut and powerbombs Robbie right into the mat to eliminate him with ease.
Dutt comes into the ring somewhat reluctantly, stretching his arm. Both men lock up for a wrestling sequence, but Cole gets the advantage and it turns into striking, then breaking out suplexes and slams, neither man staying down. Dutt breaks out a desperation roundhouse kick, but Cole ducks under the kick and drops Dutt with the Florida Keys! (70/65/75, the EPW Light Heavyweight Championship has gained image)
Winner: Adam ColeSegment #8- Christopher Daniels vs. James Storm EPW World Heavyweight Championship Qualifying Match
Neither men mesh quite well together, but they are still able to put together a good match that gets the crowds involved. James Storm comes into this match with vim and vigor, beating Daniels like he owes Storm money. Daniels is able to stay in the match with speed and sneakery to throw off Storm. Daniels shows a bit of singles rust, having spent so many month as a tag wrestler. It looks like Daniels is going to win when he goes for the Angel's Wings....but Storm takes him down into a roll-up! No, wait! Daniels rolls it over! He hooks the tights and gets the three! Daniels is going to compete tonight for the World Title! (78/79/76)
Winner: Christopher DanielsSegment #10- Motor City Machine Guns vs. Young Bucks- EPW World Tag Team Championship Match
An old rivalry revisited as both teams seamlessly blend speed and technique, with all four men flying all over the ring at a frantic pace. The crowd is sucked into the match as the action is hot and heavy. The Bucks find themselves still inexperienced and outclassed against the World-Class Guns and are forced to bend the rules, with back rakes and fish hooks and eyejabs. But the Guns are on fire, and are able to pick up the victory with the Skull and Bones, adding another set of tag titles to their resume. (81/72/91)
Winner: Motor City Machine GunsSegment #11- Joey Ryan vs. Samoa Joe vs. Doug Williams vs. Mr. Anderson- EPW Television Championship Match
This fourway is one-fall, and everyone gangs up on the sleazy Joey Ryan at first, beating the hell out of him for a good minute or so. But as soon as the pinfalls start, everything breaks down and everyone goes back to fighting one another. Ryan rolls to the outside and lets the other three beat the hell out of each other, with Anderson brawling and Williams busting out incredible suplexes, and Joe just being an absolute monster with speed and power. Anderson gets the hell beaten out of him between the other two, and eventually it's down to Joe and Williams as Anderson lies in the ring. Joe clotheslines Williams out of the ring, then blasts him with a suicide dive. As the two of them lay out of it on the outside, Joey Ryan comes back into the ring and starts beating down on Anderson, but the crowd encourages Anderson to fight back, and it looks like Mr. Anderson is about to win another belt, but Ryan floats around a Mic Check attempt and nails Anderson with the Mustache Ride! Joe and Williams are brawling on the outside, too engrossed in their war to see Joey Ryan pick up the win! (77/74/80)
Winner: Joey RyanIt comes down to the World Heavyweight Title Main Event. Daniels, Styles, and Roode come out first and wait for the mystery opponent....and the arena is plunged into darkness.......
BREAK THE WALLS DOOOOOOOWN.
Everyone loses their minds as light floods the arena and Chris Jericho stands at the entrance ramp in a black leather jacket. Styles, Daniels, and Roode can only stand there in utter shock as Jericho runs down to the ring, removing his jacket and sliding into the ring, popping Roode with a European Uppercut as he comes up.
Segment #12- Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Chris Jericho- EPW World Heavyweight Championship Match
The match goes all over the ring, as the crowd is wild for this match. All four men mix and match, with Jericho getting dream match sequences with all three men. Everyone is still just so stunned that Jericho is in this match, and he almost takes command of the entire show. Roode and Styles are particularly aggressive against each other, busting each other open. The weapons start coming out from under the ring, as Jericho cracks Daniels across the back with a singapore cane and Styles and Roode start beating each other with chairs. AJ Styles cracks Roode with a Pele Kick into the chair, like a Pele-Damminator that knocks Roode to the ground. Styles sets up a table on the floor and Daniels and Jericho are still brawling and wrestling aggressively. Styles climbs up to the top, looking to put Roode through a table...but Roode follows him up to the top! Both men are trading punches on the top of the turnbuckle, bleeding profusely. Roode headbutts Styles to take the advantage and hooks up a Superplex to the outside....but Styles turns it into a crossbody on the way down as both men crash and burn through the table! Meanwhile, back in the ring, Jericho looks to be in control, hitting the Lionsault on Daniels onto a chair. Both men struggle to their feet, clutching their stomachs....but Frankie Kazarian runs down to the ring! Kazarian starts punching at Jericho, but Jericho pushes him away! Kazarian rebounds off the ropes and gets dropped with the CODEBREAKER! Kazarian flops out of the ring as Jericho hops to his feet, pumping his fists, full of adrenaline.....ANGEL'S WINGS! Daniels nails Jericho with the Angel's Wings! Daniels covers Jericho to pick up the victory! Daniels is the World Champion! (84/87/79)
Winner: Christopher DanielsDaniels falls to his knees, embracing the World Championship like a baby, celebrating his victory, the culmination of a career. Daniels climbs the turnbuckle and roars in triumph, the only man standing among the carnage as we fade to black.
Overall Rating: 79
